Serenity Now

What a fabulous day to end my already fabulous weekend. Considering that it’s only 3:30 in the afternoon and I wish I could go to bed and start over again, one would say my day isn't going so well. It’s too bad that my first post is me complaining. But I'll try to end on a positive note...

The weekend went by quickly. Too quickly, if you ask me. It was fairly uneventful since Shaun spent the majority of the weekend studying for his GMAT, which he is taking this Friday at 1pm. (This fact he has reminded me of at the most random times over the past two months since he scheduled it.)

Saturday, I went to a local fair that is held yearly in my home town. It’s fun and even though it’s the same every year, I still look forward to it. They sell arts and crafts, jewelry, goodies, clothes, toys, and offer face painting/henna tattoos. I usually don’t buy much there. But it’s the atmosphere that reminds me of my carefree days of being in middle school and high school. It’s something that I like to drag poor Shaun to, although he doesn’t get why we have to go every year. This year, he was off the hook since he had a legitimate excuse. Instead I went with my Mom. Which is better, since she paid for most of the stuff that I ended up buying. I got a new skirt, some finger puppets for the boys, a dangly pair of pearl earrings to go with the necklaces I got in China years ago, and some dip mix (it’s the best dip mix ever…I’m not gonna lie, its one of the main reasons I go to the fair). After that, we went back to my parents’ house where Shaun was studying, Dad was working on some work stuff, and the boys were playing in the family room. After waiting for an eternity to get everyone to stop what they were doing, we went out to eat at our favorite Chinese restaurant. By the time we ate, it was about 5. I was famished since I hadn’t eaten anything but a lousy rice cake for breakfast. Then the boys, Shaun and I drove home where Shaun just did some more studying and I ran to the store to buy groceries for the week.

Now the fun begins…

Sunday, Shaun was up early for his meetings. I woke up and allowed myself ample time to get ready. However, Landon just doesn’t understand the urgency in getting ready within a reasonable amount of time. He slowly walked to the bathroom to go potty, and then played with the soap as he was washing his hands. He very slowly dressed himself after a considerable amount of time just sitting on his bed and examining his toes. Consequently, we were half an hour late for Church. So, we sat in the hall because I was too embarrassed to go traipsing into the chapel so late. It was fine though. I worked on some primary stuff as I listened to the talks and the boys played quietly with their finger puppets and quiet books. Then came primary…

First of all, I have to say that I LOVE my primary kids. They are so sweet and bring tears to my eyes every Sunday. You can see why the Lord tells us to be more like the little children. They are so forgiving, honest, unselfish, and loving. I have really learned so much more from them than I believe they have learned from me. Which is why we have callings in the church to begin with, right? To learn and grow. This Sunday, the younger children were very “wiggly.” We usually start with fun songs before primary actually begins. We did “Do As I’m Doing” about 4 times. My hope was that this would calm them down enough for the remainder of the hour. That started off fine…however, a few of the children obviously had a little too much sugar that morning. They couldn’t stay in their seats and were all over the place, which is fine for activity songs but to a point. Luckily, they calmed down enough for sharing time after getting some energy out. Singing time, for the most part, went well with the children. The Primary Presidency decided a few weeks back to start inviting the nursery children in for singing time. That meant Landon would be coming in. I was thrilled at the thought of having my son in there while I taught singing time. The first week they decided to do that, Landon was not there since he was in China with my parents. The following week was Stake Conference. So this would have been his first Sunday coming to primary. I had already begun singing time as the little ones were led in. But as the children came in and sat down in the front, I saw that Landon was not there at all. Instead I heard a loud scream from the nursery room. No doubt that scream belonged to my strong willed son. I was so upset, I had a hard time concentrating on teaching the children the songs. But I managed to get through it with only a few mistakes on my part. When I finished with singing time, I went out to the hall in search of Shaun wondering why he didn’t force Landon into primary, since I had seen him talking to someone right outside the hall when the nursery children were filing in. Of course, I couldn’t find him. I slowly walked back to primary fighting the urge to cry. I wasn’t sure why it upset me so much. I think it was because I was really looking forward to having him in primary with me. I calmed down by the time Senior Primary came in for sharing time. But then halfway through senior primary's lesson, one of the CTR 5 boys came in because he was being disruptive in his class. This was one of the children that had a hard time staying in his seat during the fun songs earlier. No one could control him. He was running around all over the place!! They tried to give him a bean bag to play with, and some crayons and paper so he could color. Finally, I took a shot at it. I took out those finger puppets from Landon's backpack in hopes of entertaining him enough to last until closing exercises began. Thankfully, that seemed to do the trick for a little while, but I could see that the novelty was wearing off quickly. Luckily, we barely made it to closing exercises! After the children were picked up by their parents, I went to get my own kids from nursery. Caden came to me easily, although he was very grumpy, but Landon refused to come with me. He just ignored me for a while and then yelled NO when I told him we had to leave. I even tried to bribe him. Finally, he grudgingly came to the door and threw the toys down onto the ground. UGH! By this point, the reason that I was upset with him to begin with all came back. I walked around the church looking for Shaun, hoping that we wouldn't have to stay long. After about ten minutes of looking for him, I gave up and went to the car to drop off my primary bag, my purse, and the boys' backpacks. We returned inside to sit by the Bishop's office, knowing that Shaun would turn up over there at some point. I sat the boys down on the sofa and gave them their sandwiches, hoping that would keep them busy for a bit. Finally, Shaun showed up and informed me that we would need to stay for an extra half hour. Needless to say, the boys got squirmy and couldn't sit still. Between Caden trying to run away, and Landon's back talking I was losing my mind. Unfortunately, we were at the church for an extra 45 minutes longer than Shaun had anticipated. After the events of the day, that was too much time to be at church. We got home and tried to put the boys down for a nap, which didn't happen. Usually, Landon doesn't need a nap, but I was hoping that the day's incidents were due to a lack of sleep and not anything else. I guess I was kidding myself. We went to a friends house Sunday evening to have dinner. Landon spent part of the time in time out. Need I say more? The only explanations I have for his recent behavior are A) he is just strong willed by nature, B) after his recent trip to China where he was treated like a king, he feels that he is above the law now, C) he tends to act up more when he is around people is very comfortable with (i.e. me and Shaun, and my parents), and D) the most important explanation, he's 3. On the most part, I have had very little issues with Landon or Caden for that matter. I have been very blessed with two good boys. I have seen worse kids and I have even been complimented on how well behaved they are. I guess when you expect more from your kids and you know how good they are the majority of the time, its hard not to be upset when they do act like kids and act up in front of others. If anything, it just makes you feel like you're a bad mother who has uncontrollable children that you have taught absolutely nothing to. Even if its not the case or not what people are even thinking. I guess I now understand my own mother.

For Memorial Day, I had planned on a peaceful day at the beach with all three of my boys. I wanted to work on my tan, get some reading done, and just have a good time with my family. I was talked out of that plan by Shaun and my dad but not without throwing my own tantrum of course. (Maybe Landon learned how to do that from me. I shot myself in the foot with that one.) Instead, we went to Purgatory Chasm (a park with some picnic areas, hiking trails and a crazy rock trail with little caves) with my parents and some old family friends. It was fun for the most part, except for the fact that the bathrooms were out of order by the time I had to use them so I had to hike an extra quarter mile just to go in the woods, and Landon wouldn't eat anything there. I don't even remember when his picky-ness started and how. He went from eating everything to nothing but bread, white rice, fruit, chips, mac and cheese, anything dairy, and anything sugary. Basically he's a carb addict who occasionally likes a side of dairy. Caden on the other hand, has a very healthy appetite. I'm lost as to what to do about Landon's eating habits. He is getting skinny and I hate the struggles when dinner time comes along. Apparantly, in China, all he ate was white rice and bread. It must be genetic. I blame Shaun. Shaun was the pickiest eater I had ever met. He and other members of his immediate family had the strangest eating habits I had ever seen. I guess when you come from a family like mine that had "well-rounded" tongues its strange to see people with such restrictive eating habits. Red meat and potatoes, and absolutely no vegetables. I must say, that Shaun has gotten better over the years. Landon, however has gotten progressively worse. He missed out on cake last night because he wouldn't eat one tiny piece of chicken. I'm afraid he's going to stunt his growth!

Today began as follows:

1. Clean up rice that Caden had spilled all over the floor. Our friends from our ward moved to Seattle about a week and a half ago. Before they left, they brought over some opened food from their cupboards that they couldn't take with them. I still have not gone through it and put any of it away. Consequently, Caden got up this morning and went straight to it and spilled the open box of Minute Rice.

2. Clean up Landon's puke at breakfast. Undigested cheerios and milk. Super. He hardly ever vomits. It must have been because he didn't eat anything yesterday.

3. Clean up spilled milk. Caden had crawled onto Landon's seat while I was trying to clean Landon up and tried to drink the rest of Landon's milk from Landon's "big boy" cup. It got all over the floor and chair that I had just cleaned up from Landon and all over Caden too.

4. Clean up graham crackers that Caden got into from the same bag of stuff that our friends gave us. I really need to put that stuff away.

5. Deal with crying children because there was a thunderstorm. Just what I need when I already have a headache.

This was all before 3:30. I really wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry while I was cleaning up endlessly today. At one point, I did both at the same time. If someone saw me, they would have thought that I had gone insane. Maybe I had. I would have gladly let someone toss me into a padded room with a straight jacket and call it good as long as I was alone. But I guess its these moments that as parents, we will look back on and laugh and wish that we could go back to those days. Maybe.